A killer on the loose on 'Harper's Island'

In the new CBS series Harper’s Island (10 p.m. tonight), Trish Wellington and Henry Dunn are set to have the perfect wedding on an idyllic island near Seattle.

Well as perfect as you can get with a mass murderer running around.

As this spooky, 13-episode series begins, the couple and their friends and family are boarding a boat that will take them to the island, where most of the characters spent their summers as children — before a man named John Wakefield showed up and randomly started killing people.

“He chopped, hung and burned anyone that was unlucky enough to get in his way,” one character explains.

One of the victims was the mother of Henry’s best friend, Abby, and she is understandably wary of returning to the scene of the crime.

But that was seven years ago, Henry tells her, and with Wakefield now dead, the island is safe. It’s normal again.

Yeah, yeah. We’ve all heard that before.

Then — and you can only imagine the writers threw this in to ensure we get the point that something bad is coming — the hotel owner tells Henry the wedding party has the entire inn to themselves.

“And since it’s the end of the season,” she adds, “you practically have the whole island to yourselves.”

Yikes. As any seasoned scary movie fan knows, deserted anything equals certain death. I don’t know about you, but if I ever hear those words in my life, I’m high-tailing it out of wherever I am. Immediately.

It isn’t long before an unknown killer is stalking the wedding party, and he or she eventually takes out one wedding guest, maybe more, by hour’s end.

The show’s creators promise that at least one character will be bumped off in each episode until all is revealed in the July season finale. If the show is successful, which I hope it is, the network will bring it back next season with new characters and a new mystery.

I have absolutely no guesses as to who the culprit is.

Everyone seems to be hiding something. The well-to-do Trish’s father doesn’t approve of her marrying regular guy Henry, and Henry’s uncle Marty, played by the always smarmy Harry Hamlin, seems to have another agenda for coming to the island.

There are also more than a few creepy characters slinking around, most notably Madison, the show’s requisite spooky kid (you’ve probably heard her voice in the promos, saying “one by one” in a voice that sends chills up my spine every time that commercial airs).

I have such a love-hate relationship with scary movies and, in this case, TV shows. I can’t resist watching them, but always regret it as soon as the ominous music kicks in and the characters wander off to investigate strange noises.

“Harper’s Island” is no exception. The first episode had some genuine scares that made me jump, yet I’ll definitely keep watching.

I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.