After emergency room doctor Hank Lawson screws up — letting a hospital trustee die on his watch — an uppity administrator gives him some advice.
“Find a good lawyer and a great place to hide for the next 25 years,” she says in the new USA series “Royal Pains,” which debuts at 10 p.m. tonight.
“Maybe, by then, you’ll be completely forgotten, and you can come back and try again.”
Harsh.
At first, a fired Hank (Mark Feuerstein, “Good Morning, Miami”) wallows in his misery, watching old movies and “Jerry Springer,” as his Brooklyn apartment turns into a pigsty.
Then he finds a much more upscale hiding place: the Hamptons.
Hank’s slacker brother Evan (Paulo Costanzo, “Road Trip”) convinces him to go to the luxury vacation spot to enjoy the first weekend of summer and all the swanky parties that go with it.
Once there, they crash one thrown by a millionaire named Boris, and Hank shows that while his medical skills are top-notch, his pick-up lines could definitely use some work.
“I have no money, no job,” he tells one less-than-enthused prospect, “and my Saab is older than you.”
But it’s also at the party that Hank finds his new calling — with a lot of prodding from Evan — as a private doctor who makes house calls to the rich and famous.
I hear he’ll eventually start volunteering at a free clinic, too, but I’m thinking that’s more about the crush he’s nursing on Jill, the woman raising the money for it, than his do-gooder nature.
In the pilot, Hank’s patients include a rich kid who wrecks his father’s Ferrari and a plastic surgery addict with a self-proclaimed “flat tire” (use your imagination, and you’ll get it).
So far, I’m liking “Royal Pains,” mostly because of Feuerstein and Costanzo, who really look like they could be brothers and share a fun, breezy chemistry.
It’s the perfect summer series — full of good-looking people, beautiful locales and entertaining storylines.
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