In the pilot for ABC’s “The Forgotten,” Christian Slater is trying really hard to channel one of those intuitive, driven TV detectives we all know and love.
Think “CSI’s” Gil Grissom, “NCIS’s” Leroy Jethro Gibbs or “The Closer’s” Brenda Leigh Johnson.
Problem is, I’m just not buying it.
Slater plays Alex Donovan, a former Chicago cop who heads up the midwestern chapter of the Forgotten Network. After police leads have gone dry or their resources have run out, these groups of civilian volunteers work to identify Jane and John Does and help catch their killers.
The series, which premieres at 10 p.m. Sept. 22, opens up with a voiceover from the victim, a powerful beginning that had me feeling hopeful about its potential.
“I’m not waiting to be saved. It’s too late for that,” the nameless female says. “I’m waiting to be found.”
But that’s the only thing original here.
The rest of the episode is full of self-aggrandizing speeches about how important the work they do is — it definitely is, but the way the characters talk about it just rubbed me the wrong way.
“Remember, it’s about her story,” Alex says at one point. “Because without who is it —”
“There’s no whodunit,” finishes Candace, an office worker who joined the network to escape the dullness of her day job.
Alex’s team also includes Lindsey, a high school science teacher working to make up for a crime committed by her husband; Walter, a telephone company employee whose ineptness provides some moments of levity; and Tyler, a med school dropout and aspiring artist there to complete court-ordered community service.
Instead of knocking down doors, these amateur detectives hand out fliers, and instead of using sketches of the victim to help identify him or her, they have Tyler sculpt creepy-looking busts.
And, in the pilot, they seemed to happen up every clue, suspect or piece of evidence, like when a key witness just happens to be sitting in a car outside the house they’re visiting or a bouncer leers at them suspiciously from the shadows of a bar.
If these crack detectives can find fresh leads so easily, it makes you wonder what the cops originally assigned to these cases did wrong.
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