The worry continues with Boomer parents

“The end is near!” claims New York Times writer Lisa Belkin.

After examining the trends in American parenting from World War I to the present, Belkin predicts that a major change is on the way. She believes that today’s overly involved parents will be replaced by parents who center more on their own lives and worry less frantically about what could go wrong in their children’s.

“It seems as though the newest wave of mothers is saying ‘no’ to pre-natal Beethoven appreciation classes, homework tutors in kindergarten or moving to a town near their child’s college campus so the darling can more easily have home-cooked meals,” writes Belkin.

Critics call highly involved parenting “helicoptering,” “smothering,” “child-centered” or “alpha parenting.” No matter what the name, some believe the days of total parental involvement are about to end. But how are the children of “Boomer” parents doing as young adults?

Boomers: Kids are doing well
Highly involved parents are still worried about their children who are now in their 20s. Many of these children are slow to decide on careers and marriage, and that bothers their parents. These Boomer parents now worry that their constant financial and emotional support has led to their children’s indecision and made them more dependent. One recent study says that’s not the case.

In a study of 100 urban, middle-class families with a mother, father and adult child between the ages of 23-27, Irit Yanir of the University of Haifa “found close families actually produce more independent children. Contrary to parents’ fears, adult children with close parental ties were more financially self-sufficient and more independent in their daily lives; it didn’t matter whether they lived with their parents. Young adults with emotionally distant relationships were less independent in their late 20s and tended to make decisions based on wanting to either please or rebel,” Yanir explained to writer Sharon Jayson in USA TODAY.

“Despite the anxiety, it’s better for young people to explore now when parents are there to support them,” Carol Dochen told the NY Times. All in all, it appears that the Boomers’ kids will turn out OK. However, some believe the winds of change are already sweeping through the new generation of parents.

“Slow parenting”
Maybe the change is related to the economy. Or, maybe it’s just a backlash to focusing too much on children. In her NY Times article, “Let the Kid Be,” Lisa Belkin interviews new authors who believe parents are beginning to focus more on their own needs. They call this “slow parenting.” Their children are not being rushed around to participate in every enriching opportunity. These modern parents believe their children will do better by going slowly. “Pay attention to your own needs. Back off on your children and everyone will be happier and better adjusted,” one author told Belkin.

Parenting trends shift with the times. And, maybe in the end, children end up doing well enough when their parents love, provide for and support them at any speed.