Isn’t it hard to believe that at this time last year, we’d never heard of Phil Dunphy?
Or Alicia Florrick?
Or the awesome game that is Penny Can?
(For all you non-couch potatoes, the first two are characters on “Modern Family” and “The Good Wife,” and the last is frequently played on “Cougar Town”).
There’s nothing more exciting for a TV fan than September, when all the networks roll out their new shows.
This season, expect a slew of cop and lawyer dramas starring familiar faces like Jimmy Smits, Dana Delaney, Michael Imperioli and Tom Selleck.
Comedy vet Mitch Hurwitz, who created “Arrested Development,” and Chuck Lorre, who gave us “Two and a Half Men” and “The Big Bang Theory,” are both back with new sitcoms: Fox’s “Running Wilde” and CBS’s “Mike & Molly,” respectively.
Other returning stars include William Shatner, in CBS’s “S#*! My Dad Says,” which is based on a popular Twitter feed of the same name, and former “Shield” bad boy Michael Chiklis in ABC’s superhero drama “No Ordinary Family.”
Which ones will still be around this time next year?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I’d say CBS’s “Hawaii Five-O” reboot has a good chance, as do “No Ordinary Family,” The CW’s “Nikita,” and Fox’s “Running Wilde” and “Lonestar.”
Here’s all you need to know about the new and returning shows:
Tonight
Hellcats (9 p.m., The CW)
After losing her scholarship, pre-law student Marti (Aly Michalka) joins her college’s competitive cheerleading squad. “High School Musical” star Ashley Tisdale plays the team’s captain, and Gail O’Grady (“NYPD Blue”) is Marti’s mother.
Terriers (10 p.m., FX)
Donal Logue stars as an ex-cop who partners with his best friend (Michael Raymond-James, last seen as Rene on “True Blood”) to launch an unlicensed private investigation business is this dramedy, which is executive produced by “Shield” creator Shawn Ryan.
Also back: “America’s Next Top Model” (8 p.m., The CW)
Thursday
Nikita (9 p.m., The CW)
After going to prison for murder, the title character is spring by a secret government agency that trains her to be a spy and assassin. This series takes place three years after she’s escaped the organization; now she’s back and determined to bring them down. Shane West (“ER”) and Melinda Clarke (“The O.C.”) co-star. (And, yes, it’s based on the 1990 film of the same name, which spawned the American remake “Point of No Return” in 1993 and a TV series that ran on the USA Network from 1997 to 2001.)
Also back: “The Vampire Diaries” (8 p.m., The CW)
Monday, Sept. 13
“90210” (8 p.m., The CW) and “Gossip Girl” (9 p.m., The CW)
Tuesday, Sept. 14
“One Tree Hill” (8 p.m., The CW), “Life Unexpected” (9 p.m., The CW) and “Parenthood” (10 p.m., NBC)
Wednesday, Sept. 15
Outlaw (10 p.m. NBC)
Jimmy Smits stars as Supreme Court judge Cyrus Garza, who abruptly quits his position to go into private practice. Cyrus isn’t your typical justice, either; he’s something of a playboy with a gambling problem.
Also back: “Survivor: Nicaragua” (8 p.m., CBS)
Thursday, Sept. 16
“The Apprentice” (10 p.m., NBC), “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” (10 p.m., FX) and “The League” (10:30 p.m., FX)
Sunday, Sept. 19
Boardwalk Empire (8 p.m., HBO)
HBO’s latest is set in Atlantic City just as Prohibition is beginning. Steve Buscemi is gangster Enoch “Nucky” Thompson, the man to see for any illegal alcohol (he also happens to be the town’s treasurer and the brother of its similarly crooked sheriff).
Michael Pitt (“Murder By Numbers”) costars as Nucky’s former protégé, who returns to town eager to reclaim his place within the organization. But his rash actions eventually catch the eye of the Feds, led by Agent Nelson Van Alden (Oscar nominee Michael Shannon, “Revolutionary Road”).
Monday, Sept. 20
The Event (9 p.m., NBC)
This show seems to be mixing the political intrigue of “24” with the mysteries (and, likely, frustrations) of “Lost.” All the previews give up is that it involves a CIA cover-up, a secret holding facility led by “ER” vet Laura Innes, an assassination plot against the newly elected U.S. president (played by Blair Underwood) and the disappearance of a woman on vacation with her boyfriend (Jason Ritter, “Parenthood”).
Lone Star (9 p.m., Fox)
A young conman (relative newcomer James Wolk) leads a double life in an attempt to swindle a rich Texas oilman (Jon Voight). In Houston, he lives as the oilman’s son-in-law, Bob (his wife is played by “Friday Night Lights” star Adrianne Palicki). In Midland, he’s Robert, a seemingly good guy who is secretly bilking local investors out of their money while romancing his sweet and naïve girlfriend.
Mike & Molly (9:30 p.m., CBS)
This one follows a Chicago couple — Mike (comedian Billy Gardell), a cop, and Molly (Melissa McCarthy, “Gilmore Girls”), a teacher — that finds love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Swoosie Kurtz also stars as Molly’s mom.
Chase (10 p.m., NBC)
Tough U.S. Marshal Annie Frost (Kelli Giddish, “Past Life”) leads a team that’s tasked with tracking down America’s most dangerous fugitives. Cole Hauser (“K-Ville”), one of my favorite celebrity boyfriends, costars, as do Jesse Metcalfe (“Desperate Housewives”) and Amaury Nolasco (“Prison Break”).
Hawaii Five-O (10 p.m., CBS)
“Moonlight” hunk Alex O’Loughlin stars in this reboot of the classic 1960s series that gave us the catchphrase “Book ‘em Dano.”
O’Loughlin is Det. Steve McGarrett, who leads a special task force that investigates crimes on the island. His co-stars include Scott Caan as Danny “Dano” Williams; “Lost” star Daniel Dae Kim as Chin Ho Kelly; and Grace Park, who does some gender-bending as Chin’s cousin, Kono (a male actor played the part in the original).
Also back: “Chuck” (8 p.m., NBC); “Dancing With the Stars (8 p.m., ABC); “House” (8 p.m., Fox); “How I Met Your Mother” (8 p.m., CBS); “Rules of Engagement (8:30 p.m., CBS); Two and a Half Men (9 p.m., CBS); and “Castle” (10 p.m., ABC).
Tuesday, Sept. 21
Raising Hope (9 p.m., Fox)
A dimwitted young man (Lucas Neff) raises his newborn baby daughter with help from his colorfully trashy family. Martha Plimpton (“Parenthood,” “The Goonies”) and Garret Dillahunt (“Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”) play his parents, and Cloris Leachman guest stars his grandmother.
Running Wilde (9:30 p.m., Fox)
Don’t miss this one, “Arrested Development” fans. It’s from that show’s creator, Mitch Hurwitz, and star Will Arnett. Here, Arnett is Steve Wilde, a rich, immature playboy who sets out to woo his childhood sweetheart, Emmy (Keri Russell), a do-gooder with a young daughter.
Detroit 1-8-7 (10 p.m., ABC)
A faux documentary film crew follows a group of homicide detectives led by the respected, but misunderstood, Det. Louis Fitch (Michael Imperioli, sadly missing the awesome Fu Manchu mustache he sported on “Life on Mars”).
Also back: “Glee” (8 p.m., Fox); “The Biggest Loser” (8, NBC); NCIS (8 p.m., CBS) and “NCIS: Los Angeles” (9 p.m., CBS).
Wednesday, Sept. 22
Undercovers (8 p.m., NBC)
Uber-producer J.J. Abrams’ (“Alias,” “Lost,” “Fringe”) latest follows husband and wife Steven (Boris Kodjoe, “Soul Food”) and Samantha (Gugu Mbatha-Raw, “Doctor Who”), retired spies who live a quiet life running a catering company in Los Angeles. That is until the CIA comes calling again, requesting the pair’s help in tracking down a former colleague who disappeared while on the job.
Better With You (8:30 p.m., ABC)
This new comedy focuses on two sisters living completely opposite love lives. Maddie (Jennifer Finnigan, “Close to Home”) has been dating her boyfriend for nine years, with no intention of getting married, while her little sister, Mia (Joanna Garcia, “Privileged”), just got engaged to the guy she’s been with for just seven weeks. “That 70s Show” star Debra Jo Rupp plays their mother.
The Defenders (10 p.m., CBS)
Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell play two unorthodox Las Vegas defense attorneys with plenty of personal drama. Nick (Belushi) is trying to repair a fractured marriage while being there for his son, and Pete (O’Connell) is always looking for his next conquest.
The Whole Truth (10 p.m., ABC)
Rob Morrow and Maura Tierney star as a New York City defense attorney and prosecutor who have been friends since their days at Yale Law School. The series follows them both as they build their cases, creating two different stories from the same set of facts.
Also back: “Hell’s Kitchen” (8 p.m., Fox); “The Middle” (8 p.m., ABC); “Criminal Minds” (9 p.m., CBS); “Law & Order: SVU” (9 p.m., NBC); “Modern Family” (9 p.m., ABC) and “Cougar Town” (9:30 p.m., ABC).
Thursday, Sept. 23
My Generation (8 p.m., ABC)
A documentary-style drama — there seem to be a few of these around, huh? — that follows a group of high school students in the year 2000 and checks back in with them 10 years later to see where life has taken them. Stars include Jaime King and Mechad Brooks (“True Blood”).
S#*! My Dad Says (8:30 p.m., CBS)
A perfectly cast William Shatner stars as an opinionated father (read: he has no filter) in this comedy. The Parents Television Council has already lodged a complaint about the title.
Outsourced (9:30 p.m., NBC)
NBC’s newest comedy is set at a novelty company’s call center, which has recently been outsourced to India. Newcomer Ben Rappaport plays the center’s American manager, so expect lots of fish-out-of-water jokes.
Also back: “The Big Bang Theory” (8 p.m., CBS); “Bones” (8 p.m., Fox); “Community” (8 p.m., NBC); “30 Rock” (8:30 p.m., NBC); “CSI” (9 p.m., CBS); “Fringe” (9 p.m., Fox); “Grey’s Anatomy” (9 p.m., ABC); “The Office” (9 p.m., NBC); “The Mentalist” (10 p.m., CBS); and “Private Practice” (10 p.m., ABC).
Friday, Sept. 24
School Pride (8 p.m., NBC)
Each week, this new reality show follows a different group of students, teachers and parents as they work to renovate and/or rebuild their schools. The show will culminate with an “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”-style unveiling of the transformed buildings. This season, they’ll highlight schools in California, Louisiana, Tennessee and Michigan.
Blue Bloods (10 p.m., CBS)
This drama focuses on a family of cops, led by patriarch Tom Selleck as the chief of police in New York City. One son (Donnie Wahlberg) is a detective, the other (Will Estes, “American Dreams”) a newly graduated beat cop, and his daughter (Bridget Moynahan) an assistant district attorney.
Also back: “Medium” (8 p.m., CBS); “Smallville” (8 p.m., The CW); “CSI: NY” (9 p.m., CBS); “The Good Guys” (9 p.m., Fox); “Supernatural” (9 p.m., The CW); “20/20” (10 p.m., ABC) and “Dateline” (10 p.m., NBC).
Sunday, Sept. 26
“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (8 p.m., ABC); “The Simpsons (8 p.m., Fox); “The Amazing Race” (8:30 p.m., CBS); “The Cleveland Show” (8:30 p.m., Fox); “Desperate Housewives” (9 p.m., ABC); “Dexter” (9 p.m., Showtime); “Family Guy” (9 p.m., Fox); “Bored to Death” (10 p.m., HBO); “Brothers & Sisters’ (10 p.m., ABC) and “Eastbound & Down” (10:30 p.m., HBO).
Tuesday, Sept. 28
No Ordinary Family (8 p.m., ABC)
After a plane crash in Brazil, a family suddenly develops superpowers. Michael Chiklis (“The Shield”) and Julie Benz (“Dexter”) play the parents.
Also back: “The Good Wife” (10 p.m., CBS)
Wednesday, Sept. 29
Law & Order: Los Angeles (10 p.m., NBC)
I’m not sure we really need another installment of the landmark series (the original, which ran for 20 years, was cancelled last season), but the cast is impressive: Skeet Ulrich handles the law side of things as a trouble detective, and Alfred Molina (“Spider-Man 2”) and Academy Award nominee Terrence Howard (“Hustle & Flow”) are the district attorneys.
Friday, Oct. 1
“Human Target” (8 p.m., Fox)
Sunday, Oct. 3
“American Dad” (9:30 p.m., Fox) and “CSI: Miami” (10 p.m., CBS)
Wednesday, Nov. 10
“Lie to Me” (8 p.m., Fox)
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