Liberty’s marriage proposal

She started her college career at Liberty University as Kelly Cook.

And graduated Saturday as Kelly D’Ambrosio.

The 21-year-old from Florida leaves LU with more than a degree in broadcasting; she has a spouse, too.

“The thing that brings everyone together is our faith,” said D’Ambrosio, whose husband, Tony, also graduated from Liberty Saturday. “When you get out into the world, (finding that in a partner) is like finding a needle in a haystack.”

Although it is not unusual for students to meet their spouses while in college, what separates Liberty from other secular universities is the extent to which the college encourages students to seek their mates on campus.

Liberty’s student care office provides premarital counseling to hundreds of students each semester. The school regularly pairs male and female dorms for get-acquainted activities. Speakers frequently talk about marriage in front of thousands of students required to attend convocation services.

“I tell parents that it’s a great place for your son or daughter to find (their spouse),” said Liberty Chancellor Jerry Falwell Jr. “I use that as a recruiting tool. It’s a great place to find a mate.”

His views on marriage come straight from the Bible, and that’s what the school aims to teach students, too.

“Our faculty and campus pastors, they try to instill those values in all of the students. We try to teach the students that the ideal is to not have premarital sex and to be faithful to your spouse throughout your entire life, and that your life will be a whole lot less complicated.”

Dane Emerick, a senior pastor at Liberty, hosts a “celebrating marriage” group workshop that draws 50 to 60 couples, mostly engaged, every semester.

The group meets weeknights for seven, one-hour sessions on topics such as communication, conflict, finances and sexuality.

“I think what makes us different is the fact that the blueprint we use comes from the Bible,” he said.

He pulls material on love, romance and courtship from books of the Bible including Song of Solomon, Proverbs and Malachi.

Many students opt to ask a faculty member whom they already know to counsel them on the decision instead of going to the student care office.

That was the case for seminary student Matthew Homan and undergrad Leslie Shafer.

“We knew that we were wanting to move forward in our relationship,” said Shafer, who graduated Saturday. “And before the hype of getting engaged, there were just some things that we wanted to have a third party’s perspective.”

They sought counseling from a campus pastor Homan previously had worked with, said Shafer.

The pair met freshman year through activities between their dorms — called brother-sister dorms — for student recreation.

Out of the students from that dorm pairing, six couples now are either engaged or married, she said.

Lindsi Slabach, who just finished her junior year in nursing, also met her fiancé through brother-sister dorms. But she originally planned not to get married while at school.

“Liberty kind of has a precedent of being a school where everybody meets and marries,” she said. “I didn’t want to play into that stereotype.”

That was before Slabach’s freshman year, when she met Stephen Richardson.

Her sophomore year, the pair played together on an intramural volleyball team. Just before Valentine’s Day 2008, they started dating. Two months ago, Richardson proposed. They plan to get married in December, when she’s a senior.

A lot of students are thinking about marriage while in college because that traditionally is a common age for forming lasting relationships, said Nancy Anderson.

She and her husband Larry Anderson, both psychology professors, teach “Marriage and Family,” an upper-level elective that draws 150 to 200 students in two sections each semester.

While it’s a course common to college psychology departments, Larry Anderson said, LU’s version is open to all students and openly conveys a Christian, pro-marriage viewpoint.

“Marriage is better for men, women and children,” Nancy Anderson said.

The course covers the Biblical basis for marriage, “appreciating gender differences,” the stages of love, and research from both Christian and secular sources, Larry Anderson said.

Ashley Young, a graduate student in counseling, took the course as an undergrad.

A student at Radford University before transferring to Liberty, Young is familiar with weddings — she works at Celebration, a Lynchburg bridal shop.

Young said she has noticed that marriage is stressed not just in coursework, but in other areas of the college, too.

“They put more emphasis on it at Liberty,” she said. “They encourage you to find the right person who has the same morals and values as you.”

Speakers at the college’s three-times-a-week convocation service, which on-campus students are required to attend, frequently talk about marriage.

Most recently, Miss California Carrie Prejean spoke at the school’s final convocation of the year on April 29 after voicing at the Miss USA pageant her belief that marriage should be strictly between a man and a woman.

Campus Pastor Johnnie Moore said beyond guest speakers, faculty and administration at Liberty also frequently speak about marriage at convocation.

“We believe marriage was designed by God … and that he desires that most of his children take part in for most of their life,” he said. “We believe God made heaven and earth, and he made man and woman. And it’s not good for man to be alone.”

Moore himself once was the subject of the conversation as the former “most eligible bachelor” on campus, he said.

The late Rev. Jerry Falwell Sr., founder of the school, would frequently point to Moore’s single status at convocation.

“He always joked with me on stage about finding my spouse,” Moore said. “Dr. Falwell referenced it in that kind of grandfatherly way. He said, ‘OK, guys, there are 5,000 guys here and 5,000 girls here. This is the best I can do.’ ”

Moore, 25, no longer can be teased for being single. In December, he proposed to Liberty graduate Andrea Marcilio. They are planning a wedding in June.

Liberty now has a second generation of students whose parents met on campus decades ago.

“I meet kids almost every day whose parents met here,” Falwell said.

He attended Liberty in the early ’80s and met his spouse-to-be Becki when he was 18 and she was 13.

They started dating when she was 18 and a freshman in Liberty’s school of business, then married when she was 20 and Falwell was 25.

“Looking back, I wish I had gotten married earlier to Becki,” Falwell said. “I tell students I talk to, ‘don’t be afraid to get married.’ I think kids should get married younger than they are.”

Although they haven’t compiled official statistics, several counselors and professors at Liberty said students there get married, on average, younger than those at other universities.

“I would guess that the average age for the Liberty student is a little lower; a year or two younger,” Larry Anderson said. “But that’s just a guess.”

Alysa Lehberger, 19, just finished her sophomore year amid plans to marry her fiancé, also a Liberty student, later this month.

“A lot of people do think it’s too young. I’ve definitely heard that opinion,” she said. “There are a lot of people who go to Liberty to get an education and find the person they’re meant to be with.”

One possible driving force to get married sooner stems from the belief of abstaining from sex before marriage, Falwell said in a group interview with his wife and Mark Hine, vice president for student affairs.

“Students, they strongly believe in no sex outside of marriage,” Falwell said.

Hine continued, “Therefore, marriage becomes a very important topic.”

Nicholas Calcei, a 23-year-old Liberty senior, agreed with that assessment.

“When you’re dating someone, you push for marriage because then you can have guilt-free sex,” he said. “I even told my mom that. It comes down to that, in a way.”

Calcei has been dating another Liberty student for more than two years, and they plan to get engaged soon.

As for the newly wed D’Ambrosios, whose friends are mostly either married or in serious relationships, they are enjoying their first months together as husband and wife.

The first week of his first year at Liberty, Tony D’Ambrosio remembers pointing out the then-Kelly Cook at convocation and telling his friends that he would date her.

Now four years later, the pair are married.

“We’re able to have fun together and graduate together,” said Kelly D’Ambrosio. “It’s exciting to think about our future, and we’re able to look to our future together.”