Basketball mommies

AMHERST - Four minutes before tipoff, head coach Erin Begley climbed up the bleachers to her husband Jamie, who held their five-month-old son Ethan. She kissed the happy baby and helped Jamie take off his little jacket. Then back down to the court Begley went to coach the girls basketball game.

On the Lancer bench, Begley joined assistant coach Crystal Mays and junior varsity coach Suzanne Crist.

The three have more in common than basketball and teaching: each is a first-time mom with baby boys under one year old.

Mays has the youngest baby, Landon, born Sept. 13. She recalled the comfort of being pregnant the same time as Begley. The two would call each other for advice and reassurance as their due dates neared.

When Crist signed on as the new junior varsity coach, she completed the group of young moms. Her son Hunter is ten months old.

“We’re our own support system at work,” Begley said. “It’s wonderful to have somebody know exactly how I feel. If somebody wants to sneak away to see their baby – no big deal.”

The coaches trade off who stays with the teams for late practices or games. Talk among them transitions easily from basketball and the girls to their sons and the progress each makes.

“I like it even better because my son’s the youngest, and they’ve already gone t through things,” Mays said. “I’m asking for advice.”

“And we’re all honest,” Crist added. “Some people, I think, don’t tell you the truth. They act like your baby’s going to sleep through the night and all this stuff.

“You’re going to have a lot of sleepless nights, and that’s just how it goes. So it’s good to share stories and know that it’s hard for everybody.”

One of the hardest things for the coaches is leaving their sons so much of the day. They’re lucky to have family close by to keep the babies.

On Mays’ first day back she said it was tough to readjust to her schedule from Landon’s. She knew when he’d be sleeping, when he’d be eating. Several days later it was still tough.

“Everyone said, ‘Oh, it will get easier.’ But I think it’s harder. I’m like, oh I missed this today,” Mays said. “But I had no idea it would be as wonderful as it is. There’s no way to prepare you for being a mother.”

In little ways, Begley, Mays and Crist said coaching did prepare them for motherhood.

After all they’re often acting as pseudo-parents to the girls, and they form a close bond with many of them. Likewise, motherhood has impacted their coaching.

“I think having a child has really made me more aware that every kid I coach is somebody’s child,” Crist said. “The way I talk to them and treat them is the way I want somebody to treat my child.”

Begley and Mays agreed that they’re more sensitive to the girls in general. The coaches try to understand the players’ feelings. They’re not easy on the girls, but motherhood has brought a heightened awareness of sorts.

Despite the nearly five month commitment to the girls basketball program, not coaching was never an option for Begley, Mays or Crist. Coaching is too much a part of who they are.

“Erin eats, sleeps and breathes basketball,” Jamie said. “This is her alma mater, and she loves basketball.”

All the coaches’ husbands have full-time jobs. Crist in particular recalled the stress of juggling schedules when her husband, Michael, was busy as an assistant coach for the Lancer football team. But for the girls, it was worth it.

“I don’t know that I was quite prepared for how hard it was going to be,” Crist said. “I enjoy the coaching so much that it is important for me to do it, to be here for the girls because they need someone to be a good role model. I think by us all being moms and still doing it, I think the girls look up to us, and that’s a good role model for them later in life.”

The responsibility of taking care of a new baby is not so far from a squad of teenage girls. Begley, for one, has found that sacrifice bred motivation.

“This is my fourth year as head coach, and I really feel like if I didn’t do it I’d be letting the girls down,” she said. “I just feel like I have a commitment to them. If I have to be away from (Ethan), I’m going to make it worthwhile to be away from him.”