Alzheimers caregivers go the extra mile

The marching orders for Saturday morning’s Memory Walk in Riverside Park were explicit: “Rain or shine.”

The way Sue Irvine sees it, that’s pretty much the situation for the caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients.

“With my Mom, it was like that old nursery rhyme about the little girl with the curl,” said Irvine, an only child who saw both parents through a long and gradual mental decline. “When she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad it was horrid.”

Or even scary.

“I remember one time when my mother got in the car, behind the wheel, and refused to get out,” said Irvine, who spoke to the more than 500 walkers before the annual fundraiser began. “She wanted to drive. Finally, I decided I’d let her drive just down to the end of the street and back. But she kept going, right through a big intersection and a red light. I thought, ‘OK, I guess we’re going to eternity together.’”

Irvine’s mother got all the way to Elon before Irvine was able to get control of the wheel.

“Another time, we were coming over the mountain on (Virginia) 130 and she started trying to jump out of the car,” Irvine continued. “I drove with one hand on the wheel and one hand in her belt loop.”

The stories get funnier with the passing of time, but they don’t completely mask the more painful memories.

“The worst part is the helplessness,” Irvine said. “You see a loved one struggling and unhappy, and there’s nothing you can do. You can’t even reason with them a lot of the time.”

And Irvine had more of a perspective than most caregivers, having been in charge of several nursing homes. She now works with Generation Solutions, a home care service.

“Somehow, she said, it (Alzheimer’s) is different when it’s in your family.”

Her father suffered from a form of dementia she thinks was caused by a series of mini-strokes. Her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her 80s, and that left Irvine, her husband and her daughter, Kenzie, to take care of her.

Kenzie was the last child still at home, Irvine said, and she missed out on a lot because she had to spend time helping us with her grandmother. It was rewarding, but it was also hard.

If you compare the human brain to a computer, then Alzheimer’s is a malevolent virus, erasing not just names and events, but most of the skills needed to function independently.

“My mother forgot how to drive a car,” said Irvine. “She couldn’t close the blinds at home.”

And so parent and offspring often come full circle.

It’s almost like caring for a very young child, Irvine said.

Few families have escaped this scourge, which is probably why more than 500 people showed up at Riverside Park despite a leaden sky and steady drizzle and raised more than $80,000.

Given the weather, we were thrilled, said local Alzheimer’s Association director Cindy Bondurant.

The Association plans a post-walk party at Charley’s on Nov. 9 (4:30 to 6 p.m.) to reward volunteers and accept outstanding pledges.